When Full Feels Empty
"You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop." ~ Rumi
Atoms, or matter, are primarily made up of empty space. The majority of an atom's volume is empty, with the nucleus being extremely small compared to the overall size of the atom. It's around 99.999999999% empty space, yet world doesn’t look so empty.
You can feel like you and your life are empty. You can feel like there is too much going on and overwhelmed. The world may either feels like a deserted wasteland or an overcrowded mess.
If you feel too empty or too full, you may need to readjust your internal world so you can move through the external world with understanding and balance.
Example A: A single mum who is constantly stressing about her kids and frantically cleaning the house to make sure that her children have the best chance at life. Her kids begin to talk back and start using this manic energy against her, making her buy things for them she knows she shouldn’t buy: donuts, smokes, alcohol. The kids and the mother are at constant war with each other, yet the mother will always talk about how sweet they are and act as if there are no issues in the house at all. Eventually, she comes to the realization that she isn’t living her life for herself and her kids—she’s leaned fully into living her life for her kids. She thought that this would give them the best possible chance at life, yet it is making them too comfortable and needy. She is so used to constantly doing tasks that she never has a chance to actually observe the situation for what it is. If only she took the time to stop, take a breather, and think about what her kids need rather than what they want.
She seems full, yet she is empty.
Example B: A young man has moved out of his family home. He has moved into a small townhouse with two of his mates. They often have small gatherings on the weekends where they drink, smoke weed, and talk nonsense. Every day, when he gets home from work, he incessantly reaches for the bong, yet he doesn’t see an issue with relying on something that makes him feel "high." In reality, it is making him low. His mind and spirit are so empty that he fills them with chemicals, complains to others about his issues, plays video games, and watches movies—all to escape. One day, he gets a girlfriend and she promptly moves in with him. As they begin feeling out what the relationship is like, she notices something strange: even though he is chill and relaxed on the outside, just under the surface, he is boiling with emotion. All the weed, video games, and alcohol are akin to someone putting trays of ice into this scorching hot boiling pot. She feels how bad this could get if he doesn’t change his ways, so she tries to prod him about his emotions so she can figure out whether he is a safe bet or not. One day, she prods a little too far and addresses his substance use directly, and the pot slightly tips to the side. The scorching water tips onto her in the form of a direct attack on her character. He calls her needy, useless, and tells her that if she wants to keep living there, she has to shut her mouth. He knows she’s right, and she doubts herself. Maybe he is fine, maybe she is overreacting, and maybe she should be grateful.
He seems empty, yet he is full.
In both examples, we see the paradox of being full yet empty, and empty yet full. The single mother, consumed by tasks and the needs of her children, appears full of responsibility and purpose but is empty of self-fulfillment. The young man, lost in distractions and escapism, appears empty and detached yet is brimming with unresolved emotions that eventually overflow. These stories reveal a common truth: when we focus too much on external forces—whether it’s fulfilling others’ needs or numbing our own pains—we lose touch with the balance within. To live harmoniously, we must recognize and nurture both emptiness and fullness, allowing space for reflection while remaining grounded in our true desires. In doing so, we transform the overwhelming ocean of life into a peaceful tide, one we can navigate with purpose and clarity.
"Be still, and know that I am God."
"My cup runneth over."